Managing the Emotion of Anger

Anger Basics

• Anger is the emotional response to violated rights – real or imagined
• Anger is not a sin but rather a responsive signal of your surroundings
• Reaction to anger can be good or sinful
• Anger is normal and universal
• Anger is dangerous, makes negative behavior easy

Common Responses to Anger:

• Mask – refuse to acknowledge anger
• Minimize –pretend it isn’t that bad
• Manipulate – act out, manipulate others
• Manage – acknowledge, respond wisely

Bible characters and anger- what can we learn from their mistakes?

Esau –Genesis 27:⁴¹ And Esau hated Jacob because of the blessing wherewith his father blessed him: and Esau said in his heart, The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then will I slay my brother Jacob.

Did Esau respond well?

What lesson do you gain from this example?

Do you see a connection between anger and hatred?

Rebekah – Genesis 27:⁴² And these words of Esau her elder son were told to Rebekah: and she sent and called Jacob her younger son, and said unto him, Behold, thy brother Esau, as touching thee, doth comfort himself, purposing to kill thee.⁴³ Now therefore, my son, obey my voice; and arise, flee thou to Laban my brother to Haran;⁴⁴ And tarry with him a few days, until thy brother’s fury turn away;⁴⁵ Until thy brother’s anger turn away from thee, and he forget that which thou hast done to him: then I will send, and fetch thee from thence: why should I be deprived also of you both in one day?

Did Rebekah respond well?

What lesson do you gain from this example?

Moses – Exodus 32:¹⁹ And it came to pass, as soon as he came nigh unto the camp, that he saw the calf, and the dancing: and Moses’ anger waxed hot, and he cast the tables out of his hands, and brake them beneath the mount.²⁰ And he took the calf which they had made, and burnt it in the fire, and ground it to powder, and strawed it upon the water, and made the children of Israel drink of it.³⁰ And it came to pass on the morrow, that Moses said unto the people, Ye have sinned a great sin: and now I will go up unto the LORD; peradventure I shall make an atonement for your sin.³¹ And Moses returned unto the LORD, and said, Oh, this people have sinned a great sin, and have made them gods of gold.³² Yet now, if thou wilt forgive their sin–; and if not, blot me, I pray thee, out of thy book which thou hast written.³³ And the LORD said unto Moses, Whosoever hath sinned against me, him will I blot out of my book.³⁴ Therefore now go, lead the people unto the place of which I have spoken unto thee: behold, mine Angel shall go before thee: nevertheless in the day when I visit I will visit their sin upon them. ³⁵ And the LORD plagued the people, because they made the calf, which Aaron made.

Did Moses respond well?

What lesson do you gain from this example?

King Saul- 1 Samuel 18:⁵ And David went out whithersoever Saul sent him, and behaved himself wisely: and Saul set him over the men of war, and he was accepted in the sight of all the people, and also in the sight of Saul’s servants.⁶ And it came to pass as they came, when David was returned from the slaughter of the Philistine, that the women came out of all cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet king Saul, with tabrets, with joy, and with instruments of musick.⁷ And the women answered one another as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.⁸ And Saul was very wroth, and the saying displeased him; and he said, They have ascribed unto David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed but thousands: and what can he have more but the kingdom? ⁹ And Saul eyed David from that day and forward.¹⁰ And it came to pass on the morrow, that the evil spirit from God came upon Saul, and he prophesied in the midst of the house: and David played with his hand, as at other times: and there was a javelin in Saul’s hand.¹¹ And Saul cast the javelin; for he said, I will smite David even to the wall with it. And David avoided out of his presence twice.

Did King Saul respond well?

What lesson do you gain from this example?

Jesus – Mark 3:¹ And he entered again into the synagogue; and there was a man there which had a withered hand.² And they watched him, whether he would heal him on the sabbath day; that they might accuse him.³ And he saith unto the man which had the withered hand, Stand forth.⁴ And he saith unto them, Is it lawful to do good on the sabbath days, or to do evil? to save life, or to kill? But they held their peace.⁵ And when he had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, he saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other.⁶ And the Pharisees went forth, and straightway took counsel with the Herodians against him, how they might destroy him.⁷ But Jesus withdrew himself with his disciples to the sea: and a great multitude from Galilee followed him, and from Judaea,⁸ And from Jerusalem, and from Idumaea, and from beyond Jordan; and they about Tyre and Sidon, a great multitude, when they had heard what great things he did, came unto him.

Did Jesus respond well?

What lesson do you gain from this example?

Jesus Christ’s instruction for managing anger

Avoid it -Psalms 37:⁸ Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. ⁹ For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the LORD, they shall inherit the earth

Respond well –

Proverbs. 15: ¹ A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

¹⁸ A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.

Proverbs 16:³² He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.

Proverbs 19: ¹¹ The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.

Understand its foolishness –

Ecclesiastes 7: ⁹ Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.

Beware –

Matthew 5:²² But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.²³ Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;²⁴ Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.

Do not sin –

Ephesians 4:²⁶ Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:²⁷ Neither give place to the devil.

Put off anger-

Colossians 3:⁸ But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.⁹ Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;¹⁰ And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:

Practical Steps for Managing Your Anger:

Admit it – Tag it! (you are angry) – learn to recognize it

Analyze it – Hold it! (Why are you angry?)

– learn the causes

– what triggers your anger?

Action – Do it (How should you respond?)

1 – Forbear the inconsequential

Is your anger about something that will still matter to you in 5 years?

2 – Confront the character issue

Raise the issue –How does getting angry over this build your character?

Be humble, ask forgiveness when you are wrong

Hebrews 4: ¹³ Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.¹⁴ Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.¹⁵ For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin.¹⁶ Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

3 – Forgive as God has forgiven you

4 – Get good advice and counsel from other Christians-

Proverbs 15: ²² Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established.

Our focus – Hebrews 12:¹ Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, ² Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Our challenge – Dearly Beloved,

Run with your eyes on Jesus alone!

Run in faith that Jesus loves you, has uniquely designed and created only one you, has a good plan for your life, runs with you and will accomplish His purposes for you and through  you!

Run in His strength alone!

Run with your eyes on the prize!

Run with the desire to finish strong!

Run with the desire to finish with your lamp burning!

Run with the expectation of being in His physical presence when you cross your finish line!

Run to His glory alone!

Run and keep on running!

Coach Patti