Managing the Emotion of Resentment

 Emotions are signals about your surrounding circumstances and about yourself. Emotions are God-given. You are entitled to your emotions. Emotion is not a sin. Emotions influence behavior. How you react to your emotion may be a sin.

What is resentment?

Resentment is the #1 problem emotion

Resentment is usually not a standalone emotion.

Resentment is a feeling based on a real or imagined grievance

Resentment is harboring of animosity against a person or group whom you feel has mistreated  you.

Resentment is unresolved anger you have over a negative event which occurred in your past life.

Resentment is lack of forgiveness, the inability to let go and forget.

Resentment is root of distrust and suspicion you have when dealing with people or events that   brought you pain in the past.

Resentment is unresolved grief you experience when you find it difficult to accept a loss.

Resentment is the result of heartbreak after exerting a great deal of effort and energy to achieve something that eventually was lost to you

Resentment is grudge you hold against a person or group whom you feel has kept you from  achieving.

Possible behaviors resulting from resentment:

pout or fume silently in their presence or at the mention of their name.

speak derisively or demeaning about them.

become stuck in my efforts for personal growth and I don’t even know why.

get furious for no apparent reason.

get depressed, despondent, and find myself going in circles in my attempts to overcome these  negative feelings.

grit my teeth and smile when I really want to scream and yell when these people are mentioned to you.

fake enthusiasm and excitement about being with these people when I’d rather have nothing to do with them.

The Prodical Son’s Brother is an example of resentment:

Luke 15:²⁵ Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing. ²⁶ And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant. ²⁷ And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound. ²⁸ And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and entreated him. ²⁹ And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends: ³⁰ But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf. ³¹ And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.³² It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.

Do you see the resentment? What other emotions accompanied the resentment?

Questions for Reflection

1)  Resentment is #1 problem emotion –Why do you think that is true?

2) Do you feel resentment?

3) What other emotion(s) accompany your resentment?

4) Write down what or who you resent

5) Confess it to the Lord and ask Him for forgiveness and help to release the resentment

Techniques to rid self of resentment include:

• Admit to yourself that there is unresolved resentment behind your attitude
• Confess it to Jesus and receiving His forgiveness.

1John 1:⁸ If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

• Identify the “hot buttons” that indicate the presence of resentment in you and reacting with prayer.

1 John 1:⁸ If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

• Ask Jesus’ help to let the past be the past so that it isn’t a chain around your neck anymore.

James 1:⁵ If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.

• List those for whom you have resentment and ask Jesus’ help for forgiving
• Trust Jesus to take vengeance on those who have hurt you in His own time and in His own way.

All sin has consequences. Our job is to let vengeance up to Jesus and get out of His way. Romans 12:¹⁹ Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.²⁰ Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.²¹ Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.

Improve your self-esteem and self-worth by looking only to Jesus for approval and recognition.

Galatians 2:²⁰ I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

Trust Jesus for the victory –

2 Corinthians 2:¹⁴ Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place.

Our focus – Hebrews 12:¹ Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,² Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Our challenge – Dearly Beloved,

Run with your eyes on Jesus alone!

Run in faith that Jesus loves you, has uniquely designed and created only one you, has a good plan for your life, runs with you and will accomplish His purposes for you and through you!

Run in His strength alone!

Run with your eyes on the prize!

Run with the desire to finish strong!

Run with the desire to finish with your lamp burning!

Run with the expectation of being in His physical presence when you cross your finish line!

Run to His glory alone!

Run and keep on running!

Coach Patti